I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
