the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
