just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
