I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize