Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So. Much. Porn.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
