I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
