Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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