Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
