I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
