It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
