Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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