good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
