You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
