i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize