my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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