She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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