I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
