Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize