i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My life is pants optional.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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