Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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