remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
