all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize