her vagine was all disorganized.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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