I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
