It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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