He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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