If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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