why didn't you poke me back
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Mom said you looked used
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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