Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
