Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
