dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
