is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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