i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
