you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize