Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
These tits shall not be calmed
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