the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize