it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
