What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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