guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
