i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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