He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
