I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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