It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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