went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
