I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
