he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
