Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
