so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
