I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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