but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
