After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sober January is a disaster.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
