And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
