I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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