Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize