he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
