You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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