fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My hand turned me down
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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