if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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