that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
