**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think pants incapable of making pants work
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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