It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The ass gains better be worth it
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