Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
