I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
